Same goes for someone who’s not over their divorce and has beliefs that affect their ability to be committed.
I personally know people who have gotten together while one party was separated, and in one case the wife refused to sign so they had to wait for it to lapse and got married as soon as it did a few years later, and in the other instances where it worked out, there was no faffing about with the divorce, Future Faking etc.
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…
I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
I most often run into people dating while separated when they're separated themselves and involved with someone else who's separated too.
A more accurate term for 'separated' in most of these cases would really be 'separating,' since few of these people are actually through their divorces or have completely ended their previous relationships.
Relationships have gotten really complicated these days.
Since I counsel men and women before, during and after a relationship or marriage, including through a divorce, I frequently see people dating when separated.
I dated The Cop off-and-on for about six years and I have to admit that love kept me from realizing just how big a problem his children were in our relationship.
Recently, he and I made plans to have a friendly, totally platonic drink to celebrate my promotion.
It was difficult for us to make plans because we had different schedules, and, to make matters worse, his daughter would get sick (or whatever) when we had plans.
The girls’ mother also had a demanding job, so she never seemed available to deal with her own children.